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One Side: Beth

At times she films me while I’m eating. I’ll see myself on her social media – it feels like a jumpscare.

My best friend of a decade, she, calls herself the “content queen”. It can be amusing for a short while, but it weighs on our relationship.

She is an extrovert, there's a constant urge the need to document everything all the time. During meals out, she says, “The phone eats first,” and takes photos with bright lighting, which induces embarrassment. It's unpleasant when strangers see her performing for the camera – I experience vicarious awkwardness. Another annoyance is because the food gets cold.

She isn’t exactly an online personality yet, but she is trying to be. She makes vlogs about city life, a day in her life, and her styling career. The material is quality, I’ll give her that, but I prefer not to be dragged into it. On occasion I'm captured while dining, or simply tagging along. I’ll see myself on her Instagram later, and it comes like a surprise: I might be no makeup on, an awkward face or photographed while eating. It’s uncomfortable.

She also anticipates that I will to record her at inopportune moments. Often I'm in conversation to another person, or we’ll just be hanging out in the street. The dynamic feels like our friendship has turned into me serving as her unpaid videographer. She has the means to employ someone if she wanted high-quality content. When I brought up my discomfort about this arrangement, she dismissed it. I've been invited to a couple of industry functions, which was nice, but that doesn’t make up for all the energy I spend assisting her make content.

I appreciate that she has helped me with my career in design, but I resist our friendship to become merely a tally of exchanges. I don’t feel she’s fake or inauthentic, but at times it seems that if recording starts, we will begin acting in a way that presents a favorable image for her vlog.

She will say, “OK, look happy!” and film me laughing with someone. It feels forced. It's crucial her to recognize that our 10-year friendship still has boundaries. I love spending time with her, but I also want to experience it without being recorded, edited, or posted for an viewers. I’m not a prop for her Instagram.

The Defence: The Content Creator's View

I want Beth to see that the creations we make together can get us an opportunity.

I love shooting content. It's more than a pastime; it's integral to who I am. Producing content and sharing my life online enables me to show my personality and engage with people in novel forms.

I wouldn't label myself as a professional creator yet, but it’s smart to make money from your interests. I admire people on social platforms who pull off that style of informal, self-made content creation.

Content creation is my version of living actively: observing the nuances, sharing them with an viewership that values the craft behind it. It's never my aim to make my friend uneasy. Taking her to professional gatherings was my way of sharing opportunities, giving her a opportunity to experience exclusive moments that could help her professional path too. That’s not leverage, it’s just being realistic.

I’d still take her to such functions even if she refused to assist me, but I desire her to see what the content we make together can get us: a foot in the door. I understand not everyone enjoys being filmed, but sometimes spontaneity is what makes content authentic. Being recorded from time to time is an inherent aspect of being my friend. I'd remove anything she asked, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don’t expect anyone to be my personal filmmaker, but companions help each other in small ways. My assumption was filming a clip now and then would be fun for her. Creativity thrives in collaboration, and having my friend around makes endeavors lively and pleasurable. I don't compel her to participate in anything, and I’d never deliberately embarrass her. But filming together occasionally is part of how I record our shared experiences.

I value Beth’s friendship profoundly and don’t want making videos to come between us. I’m willing to find middle ground: like requesting permission before filming, and avoiding shots that might make her self-conscious.

This isn’t about control, it's regarding sharing my world while still considering hers. Obviously content creation is not a replacement for real connection: it's merely part of how I experience life and I want her to be involved in a way that’s agreeable for each of us.

Outside Perspectives: Public Sentiment

Should Marielle stop recording herself and her friend when they are socializing?

There’s nothing more uncomfortable than having a companion point a camera at you. I understand that it’s Marielle’s passion, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my workplace. Perhaps she can find influencer friends to collaborate with. Given the dark, looming future of technology, personal relationships are the only thing we have – cherish them!
A respondent, 25

When pursuing something as a career, it's unfair to expect your friends for help every time, even if they have done it before. While she enjoys shooting, that doesn’t mean all those around her is willing material. She must to respect Beth’s privacy.
Ankit, 26

She may enjoy producing videos and displaying her life online, but it isn't for everyone. It’s nice she has helped Beth’s career, but she needs to listen to what her friend desires.
A commenter, 27

It sounds like you value each other, so cling to that and make sure it’s the priority in your relationship. Create some real experiences, where true emotions are preserved, not online archives. In fact, public figures who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more privacy than it seems.
One opinion, 53

Marielle appears to be neither present nor genuine when she’s with Beth – she’s working. Both seem confused as to where the line is. The answer is not found in trying to change one another, but in each establishing defined limits around what feels acceptable to them and determining if there is an mutually agreeable middle ground.
Barbara, 71

Now You Be the Judge

In an online poll: is Marielle over-exposing their bond?